The Dating Game.

Alright, I know you've all been waiting patiently for this post...

*drum roll please*

Boys. German boys.

After spending 20 years in the US, I think I know American guys pretty well. Let me rephrase that... I know Midwestern guys pretty well. The east coast is a whole different ballgame. I've had enough experience with Americans that I know how to play the flirting game, the waiting game, and the dating game. It is okay for girls to be a little bit forward, but not to ask a guy out. Sending X-rated text messages is perfectly fine. Many guys are into the "lady in the streets but a freak in the sheets." (more info: see previous post.) The dating game changes over time as well. Middle school dating was innocent, high school dating was a learning time. In college, people don't casually "date." Everything up until the official, boyfriend-girlfriend stage is one huge grey area. You could be hanging out, hooking up, friends with benefits, people that hang out and hook up exclusively but aren't officially together.... these may seem like minor distinctions to others, but it makes a huge difference. Coming from America, I understand these differences. They are sometimes stupid and juvenile, but I understand them.

Guys and girls are different from each other; that's a common thread throughout all cultures. But the ways in which they differ are not the same - American women and American guys are different from each other, but not in the same ways that German guys and German women are different from one another. What does this mean? Even if you understand the language perfectly, the dating game does not translate from culture to culture.

Last summer, Mags and I went to Italy. The game there is TOTALLY different. Guys are extremely aggressive - making eye contact is an invitation for a guy to follow you a block or two, ask you out to a bar, to get a drink, etc. Romance is overdone. Flowers, gondolas, and late-night walks through ancient ruins and to beautiful fountains are first date activities. Language barriers are not a problem. I speak English, Spanish, and (bad) German. Acene (pronounced ah-chen-eh) spoke French and Italian. We made it work somehow. Well, we made it work because I understand French,and Maggie translated the other parts. Mags is a kick-ass wingman.

Maggie - come to Germany. New culture, new game. I don't understand German guys at all. Normally, I think I can read people pretty well... no dice. Nope. Nein. No idea. If we had a continuum, German guys would be on one extreme and Italians on the other, with Americans in the middle. Italians are extremely forward, compliment women profusely, and know every trick in the book to get a girl to fall for them. Americans are not as forward... and don't have gondolas, red wine, and accordian music to seduce their women with. Germans are much less effusive. Their culture, as a whole, is much more blunt and practical about life. I don't think this is a bad thing. They seem more genuine. For example, Italians will compliment you all day, but they compliment everybody all day. American guys mostly give compliments on special occasions, because they know they're supposed to. If a German says something nice, it's sincere. I like sincere.

Unfortunately, I can't distinguish between a German who is outgoing and friendly, one who is just being polite, and one who is genuinely interested... I'll keep you posted.

Stay tuned for an upcoming post on German cars... get excited :)



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